It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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