People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
