My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
