I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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