How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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