its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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