So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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