used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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