This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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