I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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