her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
