nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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