i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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