My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
