I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
