piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
