Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She even gives head with a lisp.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
