oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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