if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
