If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
