She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
