how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
