Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
