its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
