Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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