You don't have asthma, your pregnant
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
