I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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