I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
