Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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