I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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