He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
