After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
