White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
