he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
