But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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