all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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