ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
