Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
