i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
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BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
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I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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