"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
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Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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