apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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