I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
