I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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