your thong is hanging out like whoa
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
