and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
