talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
