Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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