Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
