What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
