At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
