i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
