I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
