He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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