see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
