I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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