You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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