Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Are we still banned from the library?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
