A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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