just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
