So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
