the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
