You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
