If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
